Thursday, March 15, 2012

Another Day in Paradise

Today is just....


I have a confession to make....I haven't done laundry in a week.  A week I tell you!!
I am typing in just my socks. wink 

Rock on!
Now that I've come clean with that confession,  how about a few more?

I haven't folded the laundry from the last time I actually did the laundry.

I couldn't tell you where my vacuum is at this very moment.

I can tell you where my broom is, it's out in the driveway broken in half after I used it to clean snow off the car.

I found potatoes in my pantry that had roots longer than my hair!

You get the gist of where I'm going right?  If not, follow seems quite obvious to me.
I need Alice from the Brady Bunch to come live with me.

Just look at that sweet hard working woman.  I feel a sense of domestic bliss just at the sight of her. 

That's what I'm talkin' about!  Go for it!
I do have someone help me with housework every two weeks so my house is super clean but not necessarily 'kept up'.   I would take a picture of all the clean laundry on my bed but I just can't bring myself to do it.

I feel your pain nice lady

What I really, really want is a live-in maid.  Someone to help out with the day to day stuff.

Is that too much to ask?

I have convinced myself that in a former life I was a 'very wealthy pampered super happy kinda gal'.
I know I had an entourage of assistants with me at all times.  I know this to be fact because I frequently find myself dazed and confused when attempting to do chores.  It is at this time I have visions of assistants all about me.  I think the medical term for this is a flashback.  That is why I believe that was my lifestyle in a past life, 'visions' don't lie.

That's me (as a boy) dazed and confused.  Compliments of the movie The Sandlot.

That's me (as a girl).  You can see for yourself, I really
shouldn't be around appliances.

When I get home from work, (mind you I get home from work only after driving all over tarnation [I don't know what that means but it sounds like a lot of driving] to pick up the cherubs) dinner needs to be made


Is it too much to have Alice greet me and say "hey beautiful lady, take a load off and enjoy a hot cup of coffee"?

See how beat I look?

I know Alice, I'm a handful.  

 Once you get things all caught up in my house, the rest will be a cake walk.

Then we can party like it's 1999!  Wow, my waist looks fab.  Yours isn't too bad either Alice. Work it! 



  1. I think the origin of the term "driving all over tarnation" literally comes from the roads themselves as in "a nation of tar". Chip seal roads are made by pouring a layer of tar onto a road, then dropping moderately fine gravel onto the tar. I looked it up and there are other theories out there, but I'm sticking with mine, because I think it is the best explanation. I'm thinking once the sun starts shining we will all have a little more energy to get that house cleaning done and maybe even a little extra spring cleaning. Until then we can all use the lack of sunlight as an excuse.

  2. Thank you so much for the laugh - as it sit surrounded by paperwork, laundry, ringing phones, dust bunnies and boxes to pack I just want to run screaming from this home. Glad to know I am not the only one. - Tricia

  3. You are definitely not alone! I just got the message yesterday that "the boys" will be visiting my house tonight. Thank goodness for doors (and boys who don't really care about what my house looks like.


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